First, I have to say that I think the movie “Bridemaids” is HILARIOUS… Second, I pray that nothing like this movie happens during my wedding experience! Well, except maybe having a bridal shower with a giant heart cookie, a chocolate fountain and puppies as favors *hint, hint* ladies.

When I made the decision to start planning my wedding without a wedding planner, I knew I was going to need help. Since I wanted to try to save as much money as I could towards the actual wedding, I needed a large group of unpaid servants, I mean assistants, to help me get things going… cue my bridesmaids! 

I am so thankful to have so many friends, but I recognize that the act of selecting specific people to stand with you on your big day can sometimes leave people with hurt feelings which is really hard. There were awkward moments beforehand where you could cut the air with a knife when people were probably thinking, “Am I in the wedding? Am I not? Who will she choose?” and I wanted to get past that phase as quickly as possible. As I thought about who I wanted to ask, I wanted people who I love, people that showed me unwavering support and those that I felt like would make the experience really effortless and happy for me. So James and I discussed a number and plan for our wedding party and I led him to a number that fit for the both of us. So even though I chose 7 people to be in my bridal party, that nowhere compares to all to the people that I truly love and enjoy and call friends and family.

I know there are a lot of rituals and traditional ways associated with weddings, but I feel like your wedding should be your own and some guidelines can be bent if they make you happy. It’s YOUR day! For me, I decided that I wanted to have two maids of honor. I couldn’t really imagine not honoring two of the most special women in my life and I wanted them to each feel appreciated in my wedding. Plus, it also saves me from having an awkward battling moment like in the movie “Bridesmaids” so it’s a win-win.

When I set my mind on my bridal party, I tried to think of the perfect way to ask. There are soooo many ideas these days but I love when people put their special touch on things. I planned out some items I wanted to put together for my future bridesmaids and tried to imagine other wedding related gifts that could be incorporated. Through one part planning and one part wandering around finding random things, I came up with this group of items:

• A wine bottle with a little tag I made that said “I whine, you wine, we all wine together”
• A wine glass
• A mug that I decorated with their first initial
• A cute little notepad from Michael’s
• A candle with a fragrance called “Flower Boutique”
• A hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works in “Pink Diamond” or “White Diamond”
• A stretchy “diamond” ring
• A personal note
• I also gave my maids of honor a bar of french soap with their first initial monogrammed on the packaging.

In the notes, I started with something like, “I may get on your nerves and keep you up at night, things might get a little dirty…” and continued on tying in the items that I included in their packaging.

After spending a day compiling everything into lovely gold gift bags, I had to plot to give each person their items without them knowing why I was meeting with them. The reactions ranged from tears to shock to excitement to “yeah I better have been in your wedding” and only further fueled my wedding excitement.

Over the next few weeks, I assigned each of the girls an area of the wedding to research for planning based on their individual strengths and interests:

Ashlee (maid of honor, BFF) – makeup artist
Shelby (maid honor, sister) – flowers
Kayla (bridesmaid, friend) – photo booth
Kim (bridesmaid, friend) – ceremony table decor
Jazmine (bridesmaid, future sister-in-law) – ceremony entrance table decor
Madelyn (bridesmaid, friend) – DJ
Valisha (bridesmaid, friend) – cake

I set a meeting for everyone to meet and present their ideas and started off with each person introducing themselves and giving a favorite memory of the two of us and I, in turn, gave my favorite memory with them. It was a great icebreaker and so entertaining to hear people’s recollection of past events. So far there hasn’t been any drama or issues, but then again, we haven’t selected a bridesmaids dress yet and I can’t have any of them upstaging me (totally kidding!).  Overall, I know I have chosen an amazing group of women to join me and I look forward to sharing my big day with each of them.

 

– L